Innocence of A Child

Since when, we, adults, lost all of its innocence as a child?

Sometimes the question is bothering me to the bone. Not exactly what I thought, but it's just annoyance for some people. I, personally, thought that at certain point of life, we happened to meet a turning point, like a Winter Solstice, some sort like that. We lost the innocence from what we thought about friendship to what we thought about being compassionate to our loved ones. Fake a smile to pleased certain people. Then, we cry like a baby in 3 in the morning. It's just become a cycle when you something that give you a lot of thought, meanwhile you don't have to put a lot of thought about it.

Turning points, a lot of turning points in our life become a sensational, yet painful, become our reasoning to argue. In fact, we just lost all our imagination, and start to think forward. Is it only limited to some people with creativity, that they thought they still a child inside of you? No! Some adults necessarily have thought at this matter and people would be like "Oh, god, stop being childish,". And that's it, you continue to live as it is. With some boring routines, paperworks, and so on.

I, myself, am going through it. Parents keep me thinking to create my future. Basically, where are those my stupendous innocence as a child go? "I want to become a president,", "I want to become someone reliable," and some sort like that.

Since when, we, adults, lost all of its innocence as a child?

Let's just keep it simple.

Life is short. So, you've got to be YOLO, at certain point. My thought about YOLO, YOLO is not about once, it's about how you enjoy the moment though its only momentarily. YOLO is not some reasons that make you to do some fat-witted act. It's about how you could create a moment where you could rejoice all of your inner child, create a wild, yet creative Imagination to have thought that "Ah, I lived my life too short, but it's wonderful and I enjoyed it to the fullest,". That inner child, that Innocence, that could make you slightly comfortable with all of your surroundings. Live a life that you would remember. Not live a life that you would regret.

And, then ask to yourself again. Since when, we, adults, lost all of its innocence as a child?

The answer is not as simple as described above. The answer is we lost it when we couldn't enjoy the present day, we couldn't rejoice the yesterday, and we couldn't careless thought about tomorrow. We lost it at the moment when we thought it's only momentarily which is not, it's eternal because you lived it to the fullest, then at some point, you could talk about it to other people and your family. We lost it when we thought we couldn't do another thing that we could do. We lost it when you thought that, Life is repetition, which is not, It's about how you to live at the moment.

Then again, since when, we adults, lost all of its innocence as a child?

Where is a smile that could be more valued?

Where is a fun times where being reckless is having an experience?

Where is an imagination, which could help you lessened the pain you take?

It's all about you. You could make it happened. You could make it a day where you could rejoice it. You could make it enjoyable, as if you've been lived an aeon. You are the key where your innocence become something that you could value more than anything. Yourself are the child, because being a child is not being childish. It's being more rational, more control, in every and each solid decision you made, to have your every day more colourful that you couldn't imagine.

Best Gratitude,

D.

Aku, Kamu, dan Konstelasi Bintang

Aku ciptakan cerita jika waktu takkan lanjut untuk merajut apa yang akan tiada.
Bukan berarti aku akan menciptakan sejarah yang penuh tanda tanya, hanya saja setiap pertanyaan hanya menciptakan cerita yang bahkan takkan pernah sama.
Jika, bukan karenanya, aku mungkin akan menjadi sebuah gulungan hampa yang tak bernada, tidak seperti sebuah kamus yang menciptakan sebuah runtut kata yang akan diucapkan.

Ketika, hujan turun, seraya setiap daun dan ranting menyanyikan cerita lama mereka.
Bukan sebuah kata yang berima, tapi kalimat yang berirama.
Tapi, ketika mereka melantunkan nada, terkadang nurani berkata apa yang telah terjadi selama 18 tahun yang dilakukan oleh diriku ini.
Yang berarti satu, apa yang menghasilkan siapa dalam cerita ini?

18 tahun.
Cerita yang akan disampaikan mungkin akan lebih dari 1 bait, atau bahkan 1 paragraf baku.
Yang menghasilkan sebuah penjelasan,
"INI ADALAH AKU.
AKU YANG TELAH MEMBAWA RAGAKU UNTUK MENCIPTAKAN AKU UNTUK MENJADI SESUATU."
Tidak, hal ini bukanlah yang ciptakan untuk menunjukan siapa aku, tapi apakah aku?

Seperti Chairil Anwar yang melantunkan Aku dalam setiap bait puisinya, aku juga sebuah binatang.
Tetapi, binatang ini tidak diciptakan untuk menjadi jalang.
Tetapi, diciptakan untuk menyayangi dan mencintai.
Memberi dan mengasihi.
Kadang kala, menangisi dan meratapi.
Itulah aku.
Aku yang menciptakan siapa dan apa dalam hidupku.
Hidup yang terkadang tak beragam tapi sempurna, sempurna dalam ketidaksempurnaannya.

Sekarang, hujan pun reda.
Matahari bersinar menciptakan tujuh warna bidadari yang menghimpun mata dunia dan menciptakan keindahan dalam setiap pandang.
Sekarang akan kusampaikan tentang Kamu.
Kamu itu sebuah rasa.
Tercipta memberikan hambar sebuah dansa.
Memberikan keadaan kepada ketiadaan.

Kamu itu menciptakan pesan kepada hal yang liar dan luas.
Imajinasi yang takkan terikat pada sebuah gravitasi.
Seperti Matahari yang menerangi dan liar bak lubang hitam diujung galaksi.
Ciptakan impian yang akan menerangi.
Yang mungkin kamu akan sadar bahwa itulah kamu untukku.

Korelasi pada bintang menciptakan indah pada waktunya.
Malam yang tercipta akan terlihat cantik.
Dengan terciptanya konstelasi bintang.
Sirius, Ursa Major, dan Segitiga Musim Panas.

Itu kamu dengan aku.
Menciptakan sifat dan menggabungkan rasa.
Memberikan cahaya dan memanfaatkan gelap.
Seperti itulah ketika Aku dan Kamu.
Sejuta kemungkinan, miliaran akal, triliunan Imajinasi.

Diary of Boy's Naivety: Part Two: Confusion

Hello again, Netizen!
It's me, again with more complexity in life and more "early-conclusion" in life that I kind of regret it for a quite long time.
Well, this is me and another wishful thinking that led me to a long-term confusion.

Let me talk about Confusion, in my rhetoric opinion.
More likely, Confusion is a sugar candy that when you eat it, it has a fragrance smell, yet, a sour sweet taste.
Yes, it gave you a possible outcome and a surprising nature on the other side. But, it led you to another thought that what if it's actually not a candy, but a sour, ticklish mango that sweetened to a certain degree. I dunno, but it led you to confusion, rite? Me too.

Now, it's a another girl, that I recently met, she's a Korean. I recently know her, either.
Her name, let's go with, Kim.
Well, it's a quite familiar name in Korea, especially there're a lot of people using this surname, both boy or girl.
Another Confusion? Well, let's just start my journey of confusion, with this girl.

Recently, I went to Korea to attend some sort of Conference. The place was full of the volunteers from every university in Korea, i think. They're so cute, pretty, and any other good words that resembled "Beauty" in every kind of aspect, especially you're a K-Pop addict or whatsoever.

Long story short, I met Kim through my friends that with the same room with her. She's a volunteer to the conference. She's not too cute, neither an extraordinary one, but she left an impression of geeky attitude and playful side of her.
So far, that is how I see her and led me into my first confusion.

Then, several day after the conference, my friends asked Kim to meet-up at her university. Her university is a well-known one, so, it's quite prestigious.
We met her after we have a bit tour to know a bit better of the Korea Traditional Culture.
After that, We met her near a station with her friend. FYI, her friend is quite cute, if you like a cool chick with some sort of Korea fashion, tho.
I happened to see her closely, and realize that she looked at me, too. But, somehow it's just a pure coincidence and led me to my second confusion. That was too naive of me, to be true.

I talked with her, how's her life until now, her hobby, and why she attracted to become a volunteer at the conference. The topics are changing randomly, and yet, I was too afraid to ask her if she's actually single or not.

Cut to the more important point, we had dinner together, talk more about her life and my life, a bit. she told me she experience the same conference like mind and it was awesome when she see it in her voluntary view on the conference. I nodded, because I experienced it, once, and it was quite bothersome.

After we have an awesome dinner, yes, I forgot about what am I eating anyway, I added her to my friend list on facebook, and see her post about that dinner. She accompanied us to the nearest subway, that was the last I saw her. She smiled graciously. I was awe-struck seeing her smile. It was somehow pure and really left me an impression. That night, I felt like having my another love story, and my friends said it's more likely a one night love. But, you know what? I never regret for what I do that night, chatting with her, let the time passed as she spoke and laughing. It was one of the best day of my life.

Yes, I was naive that time and some jumping into conclusion thingy I had was really let me a mixture of confusion, at the same time, led me to the confusion that am I really that easy to fall in love to another girl and whatsoever that related to the matter.

But, one thing for sure, that smile I saw, I never regret it, not even once. Her laugh will always be in my memory. Memory when I was here, in Korea, and how I left a piece of my heart here, to let it wander to the one I once fall in love with. My confusion is lead me to a new horizon where my heart totally recognize which ship I should embark on or not. It's eternal.

That's all folks, I hope I could give you more story to be told and my adventure to written. Either it's a love adventure or just another rants that created by this boy. Peace.

Best Regards,

D.

Diary of Boy's Naivety: Part One: Ignorance

Hi, there, Netizen! And people who stupidly or a bit Ignorance that read this blog thoroughly!
By the way, thanks for it! I appreciate it.

Now, let me talk about Ignorance.
Ignorance is like something you just left it out then suddenly you kinda care for it and then you don't. That is what I thought about Ignorance.

Let's just talk about a girl, shall we?
Let's call her, Christa.
It's a fake name and if it's correlated to you, you may want to talk with my lawyer about it and no animals harm in this story.

Christa is an Idol, an actress, a famous person. Well, whatever you call it. She was cute, pretty, and have all the dreams that every girl dream. Well, d'oh, becoming a famous person.

Let's just say, before she was famous, she was like a better girl than before. Yes, kind and something like that. Yes, it was all in my opinion. I met her on twitter, talk about it online, and know her by being such a douchebag, but still "support" her in every possible kind of way.

It was like you found an unpolished diamond, and something like that I wasn't sugarcoating it but you'll understand about it. Later in this blog.

I was like having contact with her a lot, even after she start to take the stairs for becoming star. Well, one-sided, though. I was enthusiastic with her, yes, what could possibly go wrong, I thought. But it's all a shattered dream voyage. And will talk about it later, in the part of the story.

I've been every low of her and through. There was one time that her scandal pics are escalated through out all the social media and generate a huge commotion, which I thought not a big deal, she almost become someone famous and everybody really going all-out to bring her down, she chat me a while, then she asked if it's disappointment to me. Well, it was a helluva struck of lightning, I tell you. But I said, it's okay and bla-bla-bla, and I'll be there with you. That was a naivety of mine.

Time lapsed, she become famous and whatsoever. It really soothe me to know there're a lot people like who care for her and anything I would do for her, just to make her shine through the night. But it didn't do the same to me. I was left out just because I'm so far away with her. I was like a morning memory, left out like a forgotten casserole that your mom made because it tasted not too good. But I fight through it. Getting back for her attention and anything would do. I talked about my day and ask about hers. Well, I did it good and I got her attention, a lot of good things come, I think to myself. And that was my second Naivety.

Then, it happened. I was deleted by her. She was gone in my contact list. Like the sound of a snapping fingers. I asked her friend, she said it was formatted and whatsoever that I didn't want to recall. And I left her. I stopped giving guidance to her. That was my Ignorance. Leaving out all the best you could like that.

One day, I was kinda sad, don't know what to do, like a puppy that lose his way. It was like several month, I abandoned her. I was too busy with my life, which is good and lose her in some point of it. Totally lost her.

Yes, I still sent some messages and tweet about it. But, yes, she was a famous person, for God's sake. How come she could read all of it? I regret for being such an Ignorant person.

Then, I came to where she would perform on her show. Yes, I watched her carefully. I'm not batting my eyes, on another. Only on her. Hope that she will notice me somewhere in the crowds. Yes, of course, she doesn't. She has like a ton of fans. And a lot of them, are more, let's just say, famous among fans, than I am, A scrutty, stupid, good-for-nothing person.

After that, something came up on my mind, what about I retired? What if I just abandon it for good?
Second after that, I did it. But I just tell her on my last gift, my last contribution for her, that I'll support her for good and whatsoever to leave a good comments on me. I'll chat with her later and things that a friend should do. Here's my stupid and one after another Ignorance.

I asked her friend for her contacts, and yes, she was unknown. I tried to add her, but, no, she's gone entirely. Yes, all of my ignorance and my naivety are ruin this kind of relationship I had. But, one thing for sure, I was blinded by it. Blinded that I was the only number one fans and also a friend to her. Not after I heard about her story from among my friends. Yes, she was corrupted and blinded by being a famous person. It was a sad thing. I was there for her, I was left out for good, by her. Well, Karma does exist.

Long story short, I gave up on her. It's not easy, y'know. But, what am I suppose to do? Carry on and living my dream doesn't seems so bad, tho.
All I know is now she was happy for now, surrounded by her fans, living in her dream.
I also do the same thing. I live my life to the fullest and do things to achieve my long-term dream I planned.

My ignorance led me to the place that I was happy and regret, at the same time. But, mostly I did it since I was a naive person. It's never been good for a people like me, with a thought of it, well, Life goes on like a ship "choo-choo-choo".

Well, that's the end of my Diary. Hope to see you again, soon. If I'm not too busy for enjoy my routines and my life that not too awesome but hope I ain't regret for it.

Best Regard,

D.